Until recently, my life has felt just a bit off kilter. Things were out of balance. And what, you may ask, was the cause of this imbalance? Nothing significant, at least, not to anyone other than me. But first, a little background.
I recently made the mental move from leaning toward paganism (but not practicing anything) to out-and-out athiesm. This has been a change that has been in process for quite some time since my original disillusionment with the church I was raised in. Initially, I continued to believe that Christianity was correct, but the manner my church practiced was problematic. Then I did some thinking/studying and came up with many questions that I couldn't find satisfactory answers to. At that point my opinion shifted to a belief in a creator, a desire for something after death, and an affection for the trappings of peganism, but no real spiritual practice. Then, recently, I learned a little bit about evolution (which I had been previously told functions on pure chance), and my need for a creator was abolished, and with it my lingering belief in God. (I am now starting a slightly more in-depth study of evolution for my own benefit.)
So, as I approached this decision, the necklace that I wore constantly (a heart with a cross on it) no longer seemed appropriate and I removed it. I knew exactly what I wanted to replace it with (a pegasus pendant, I've been in love with the idea of winged horses as long as I can remember), but didn't have the funds to do so. This lead to me not wearing a necklace for a month or two, and that made me feel slightly off balance.
Then there's the technology. I own a palm pilot. I use it to track everything from appointments and contacts to gas milage and my menstrual cycle. I also read extensively on it, both news (from Lew Rockwell.com) and books (purchased or manually digitized). But in May of this year, my backup palm pilot (actually Rich's that he loaned me) broke, leaving me without one. Once again, this lead to an off kilter feeling as I struggled for new ways (albiet temporary ways) to keep things in some semblance of order.
However, Rich recently came into a small amount of money (a bonus at work) just after we got all our bills caught up and we were able to take care of some things that had been pending for a long time. We got both palm pilots repaired for under $100 (I'd highly recommend the individual who repaired them, Chris Short, though he does specialize in only a few models -- email him at ips AT chartermi DOT net for an estimate) and I got a new silver pegasus necklace for $25. And as I went to bed last night I finally felt like everything was right with the world.
They may seem like very petty things to most people, but somehow having my necklace and a working palm pilot make a huge difference in my life. And it all makes me wonder, is it only me or are there petty things that make a big difference in most everyone's lives? Things that may only matter to you, but without them everything just seems slightly wrong. Anyway, that's my thought of the day.
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